the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
that's an acceptable place to lick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
