Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
