Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
