I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
