He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
