We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize