i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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