I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
