Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
