so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
