I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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