dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
