so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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