me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
