you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Green mimosas i think yes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
