I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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