Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
My vagina is officially offended.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize