I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
