I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
