She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I can't turn off my feet"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
