ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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