I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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