just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
