i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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