I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
