i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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