so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize