Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
