i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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