Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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