i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
