dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
