He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
