he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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