I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize