I think I died a long time ago.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
