i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
