jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
