how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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