i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
