I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
