the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize