stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
