Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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