I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
