i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I cut my penus on the lid.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
