my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
