dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
