Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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