Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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