I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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