i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize