i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
