It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Bring me that man meat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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