I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize