i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
