i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
