dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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